So Confusing.

"What is it that you are so confuse?"

Been asking that question to myself again and again. I think since I have so much free time, I tend to keep on thinking unnecessary things.

Geez.

Right, don't want to waste time on social media anymore. Sebab social media buat rasa camtu. In order to make sure of that, I uninstalled Facebook from my phone. I am so gonna save myself from wasting more time.

I want to read books.
I want to memorize surahs. (target Al-Mulk and Sajadah)

Two things that I wanna do so much before but keeping on giving excuse. Konon takde masa?

Jadi sekarang la waktunya.
Waktu lapang sebegini bukannnya selalu datang.

Nanti dah kerja mesti banyak komitmen lain.

Make full use of this time, Maicher.

P/s: What a happy phase of life. Kanbest kalau posting je kat Lipis ni. Doa Mai, doa. Allah tau, Allah dengar. :)

End of Degree Program

Alhamdulillah..
Last Friday marked the end of my internship.
That means I've settled my degree program.
Currently waiting for what life has to offer me.

Biidznillah..

"Sesungguhnya Allah jika mencintai seorang hamba. Ia akan mengatakan kepada Jibril, 'Aku mencintai seseorang, maka cintailah orang itu!' Jibril pun mencintainya. Setelah itu, dia bahkan menyeru penduduk langit, 'Allah telah mencintai seseorang, maka cintailah orang itu!' Penduduk langit pun mencintai orang itu. Kemudian ditempatkanlah rasa cinta pada dirinya dalam hati penghuni bumi. Jika membenci seseorang, Allah juga akan mengatakan kepada Jibril, 'Aku membenci seseorang, maka bencilah orang itu!' Jibril pun membencinya. Dia pun lantas menyeru penduduk langit, 'Allah telah membenci seseorang, maka bencilah orang itu!' Penduduk langit pun membencinya. Setelah itu, baginya diletakkan rasa benci pada dirinya dalam hati manusia di bumi."

[HR Muslim]

Sorcery.

There will come a point in life where you'll feel like you had enough of something that you once fond so much.

I used to like chicken so much that I prefer chicken like all the time.

But as I grow up, I started to look on something else.
Chicken no longer catch my attention.

I started to look for fish, meat, squids.. other stuff.

And,

I thought I no longer need chicken. Yearn for chicken.

Boy I was wrong.

I found myself looking for chicken again, some time. Not as often as before, But I still do.


This is no deep post. This is so literal.

P/s: What is this sorcery?

P/s: 11 days left to left Seremban. Sad. This is sad. :(

Innovation Competition.

Alright quick update.

So few days back, I participate in an innovation competition. Wow, Maicher? Wow.

It has been a hella new experience to me. Plus, we got silver for our innovation project. That was something that I can be proud of. It's my first time man. I am so satisfied. Hardwork paid off.

Would love to take this opportunity to thank my super partner, Aziathul Azreema for giving me help and support when I needed them the most.

And special thanks to my supervisor too, Puan Mazni Sulaiman for giving us advice and financial support. Ahaks.

What a hectic semester man. Never thought semester 8 would hit me this bad. Whatever it it, I am still fighting on my AR writings.

Pray for me please. That would be so lovely.

Thank you!

Bui-bui.

Omma.

Dah tinggal beberapa hari lagi nak balik maktab ni, syahdu plak rasa.
Mula lah perasaan I havent serve my mom lots enough menyerang.


Semalam masa tengok gambar, ibu cakap camni kat gambar ni;

"Nampak tua dah tangan ibu."


Sejak dari tu, bila aku berdoa je, mesti nak mengalir je titisan mutiara dari mata aku.

Usia mak aku dah separuh abad. Purata jangka hayat manusia yang normal dalam 70 - 80 tahun. Dia tak punya banyak waktu.

Tapi aku lupa, yang ajal itu tak mengira usia. Aku yang bakal menjengah usia suku abad dua tahun lagi pun boleh je meninggal dulu kalau memang itu ketentuan aku.

Oleh sebab itu, aku selalu mintak kat Allah. Panjangkan umur aku, Panjangkan umur mak aku. Beri aku waktu. Beri dia waktu.

Untuk aku bahagiakan dia. Sekarang bukan aku tak bahagiakan dia, tapi belum cukup lagi. Aku nak dia rasa gaji pertama aku. Aku nak beli apa yang dia nak. Aku nak pegi umrah dengan dia.



Perkenankanlah doa aku ya Allah.... :'(

Aziathul Azreema Jaas, JANGAN BACA.

Mengimbau kembali saat pertama perkenalan dengan si dia mampu membuatkan hati kecilku ini tersenyum sendirian. Tersenyum sendirian tu tandanya banyak perkara yang manis la yang dah berlaku antara kitorang hikhiksss.

Yes, look at her expression. And mine. Contradict sangat hakhakhak memang kelakau.

Tatkala jari laju menaip di papan kekunci ni, hati seperti tidak percaya yang rupanya dah hampir 5 tahun aku mengenali dirinya.

During foundation days. Minggu orientasi pelajar baru.

Dia seorang gadis yang bagi aku luar biasa, hanya ada satu dalam 1000. Luar biasa tu bukan sebab dia ada superpower mampu  terbang kemana sahaja bagai Superman tidak. Luar biasa tu sebab amalan yang dia amalkan, pegangan agama dia, akhlak dia.

19 year-old-us.

Kalau nak dibandingkan dengan aku em memang bagai langit dengan bumi la. Eh jap perumpamaan cenggitu jauh sangat plak tapi nak cakap memang berbeza la. Dia ni banyak membawa pengaruh yang baik dalam hidup aku. Sering kali aku panjatkan rasa syukur pada Ilahi sebab mengurniakan aku sahabat yang sentiasa dapat ingatkan aku padaNya.

Antara perkara unik pada dia ni, dia ni bleh buat lawak unexpected. Aku ni kelakar jugak orangnya tapi kalau masuk pertandingan pastuh ada juri bagi menghakimi lawak yang cuba disampaikan, pastilah dia ni yang akan menggondol award tersebut.

Lawak dia ni original. Comes from the heart. Nak bagi contoh pon tak reti lah pulak nak imitate lulz.

Di padang V IPGKRM bersama-sama memeriahkan pertandingan memanah walaupun kalah. 

Aduh, rindu sungguh!

Azie,
Sedarkah dikau akan perubahan yang berlaku pada kita dari era pemikiran kurang matang kepada lebih matang, dari tak pandai bergaya kepada pandai pakai bedak kompak dengan lipstick dan mula belajar lilit shawl, dari status single, sekarang dah nak kawen dah (eh yeke?), banyak benda dah kita harungi bersama.

Dalam pada saat kita bersama tu, pasti ada tingkah laku dan tindak tanduk saya yang pastinya telah melukakan hati Azie. It's never my intention to do so. Kalau berlaku jugak tu pastilah kerna khilafnya saya kerana sudahpun nama manusia. Tidak maksum dan sentiasa melakukan kesilapan.

Mohon diampuni dosa-dosaku padamu. Harapan saya sebelum saya berhenti menaip agar kita dapat jadik BFFTJ selamanya.

Akhir kalam (kuang kuang kuang),

SELAMAT HARI LAHIR SAHABATKU YANG DICINTAI KERANA ALLAH, 

AZIATHUL AZREEMA BINTI JAAS. 

 ❤

Semoga diberkati usia dalam kebaikan dan dikurniakan rezeki yang melimpah ruah. Teruskan perjuangan dalam kehidupan.

Jangan pernah berputus asa dengan ujian yang dilemparkan padamu. Hidup ni hanya sementara. Rugi saat saat yang diberikan peluang untuk bernafas ini digunakan untuk meratapi sesuatu yang diluar kawalan kita. Embrace it, instead.

Em lagi satu, eliminate unnecessary drama. Semua tu buang masa. Remember, mind over matter. Kita yang tentukan apa yang kita nak rasa. If you want to be happy, be.

Bui-bui! 

P/s: I'm gonna miss us. Tinggal beberapa bulan je lagi huhuhu.  

Letters in Jar.

Saya pernah la tengok cerita omputeh tentang sebuah perhubungan cinta antara pasangan kekasih ni. Dipendekkan cerita bilamana dorang nak tie the knot, both of them decided to write a letter to each other mengenai pasangan mereka tentang apa yang membuatkan mereka cinta dan suka pada pasangan mereka.

Kegunaan surat ni ialah, if they ever encounter any difficulties in their marriage, they can read the letter that has been write by their partner in times before they got married.

I found it so absurd. Like whateves merepek la. Mengarut je semua ni.

But not until just now. I kind of having problems with a friend of mine. We're not as good as before. I don't even know what when wrong. Things changed in a blink of an eye. Yesterday we're good but out of nowhere, today doesn't feel like the same anymore.

Ditakdirkan Allah yang Maha Esa, kan baru habis praktikum beberapa hari lepas hence I got quite a number of letters from my students. I have this habit of keeping every surat in a box.

Jadik bila mana nak simpan those latters, saje la baca balik letters and cards that I've received.

And thennnn, I came across her card. A birthday card she gave me 3 years ago.

I read that card. Rasa sebak. I miss us. In that card, she said shes grateful upon having me as her friend. She said she value our friendship so much. But then, what had happened to us now? Why she has changed? Why shes acting so cold to me right now? Only God knows.

I gave up on her. I feel like biar lah if she wanna hate me, go on.

Anyhow that card changed me. It reminds me of how she once has treated me very nicely. How once we were so happy being around in the company of each other. If things were no longer like before, I gotta work this thing out.

Kalau dulu kita pernah rasa persahabatan ini bermakna, mengapa tidak sekarang?

It works, people. At least for me. And the couple in the movie.



Bui-bui!





 

EJ Camp.

If I were to give an advice to anyone, it would be "if you want anything, ask Allah to grant it ferya. Make dua."

I'd love to write a post on  EJ Camp stuff. But, time constraint people. I don't even finish my Action Research proposal while typing this.

But if I were to describe the camp in a word, it would be >>> awesome!

I met a bunch of colorful cheerful wonderful  people. I made lotsa new friends. I am so happy.

I swear I was infinite.

I want to write more about this. I want to abadikan what I felt. Tapi soon. Just not now. I'll be flying to Indonesia tomorrow. Excited to see how the other part of this world looks like.



Till my next post. Bui-bui!

Selamat Ulang Tahun Sayang

Yesterday was my best friend's big day. I mean birthday.

So I'd love to dedicate this poem to her.

Kita berbeza banyak tak sama
You come from Selatan and I am from Timur
You are pretty and pandai nyanyi
You talk a lot and so friendly
Selalu ceria buatku ketawa beria
Tapi tak apa you cepat lega
We share laughter we do the work later
You'll be my friend till the very end.
Oh I love you I really do.


P/s: Ni je termampu buat sajak for this time. So busy. Hence the quality. ;p

You and I.

In the same GERKO's purple tshirt.

I love candid the most. On memanah tournament day. 

We even got the same watch. :')

Selfie. Self photography. 

People said to save the best for the last. So I put this.

May Allah showers you with His never ending blessing. I'll pray that He protect our friendship for forever and ever.

Happy birthday, Fatin Sofia Ithnin. :)

Bui-bui.

Phone Interview.

I am applying to get myself entered a fantabulous amazingbulous camp.

So I had my 3 minutes phone interview.

One of the question was, " what is one thing that you want to change in life?"

And I said, "the way I think".

"The way you think, Maicher? Oh oh.. can't you be any more creative? <<<< monolog dalaman. T_T

It's a phone interview for godsake. Mana sempat nak pikir. Takkan nak emmmmm for a seconds no!

Ahhh nevermind. Pray hard for me please. Thanks!


xx



Bui-bui!

Run, Baby Run

When your body says run, run. 

I started my February with an amazing stuff.

I always wanted to join this kind of marathon thing. And today I did it. I'm a 5km finisher woots!

Okay lah tu for a beginner innit.

Absolutely looking for more interesting stuff life has to offer me. ^^ Gratz to our YB for this campaign was amazing!



P/s: My new life motto is; as long as you're fit and healthy who cares if you're ugly man.

I Was Made For Lovin Ya.

Asking Forgiveness.

I have a new habit.
It started off when I found out that istighfar has a lot of goodness. (time tu I kind of messed up)

I'll istighfar before going to bed. Till I fall asleep.

I'll istighfar and muhasabah diri on what wrongdoings had I done on that day.

And if I can't think of any (bukan sebab takdak buat salah tapi sebab kelemahan minda mengingati perkara yang dah berlaku), I'll sedekahkan my istighfars to my parents.

I think this is a good habit.

It's a good thing right? to always recheck on ourself. Pikir balik perkara apa yang kita buat salah harini while the mouth and heart asking forgiveness from the Almighty.

But few days back I don't muhasabah diri before I went to bed. I don't istighfar nimore. Cuz  I got night class. I'm tired and exhausted. Imagine kelas dari pagi sampai malam. I already feel like a corpse. I simply sleep right away bila sampai bilik.

I should reset things back before it's too late isn't it? I don't want to let this habit go.It has to stay with me.

I gotta sleep now. Till then.


Bui-bui.

Deterioration Of The Fight

I never thought the beginning of 2015 gonna hit me this hard. I can be all positive and pretend like nothing ever happened. But that would put me in a denial zone.

Cuz I'm only human.

I bleed when I fall down.

I fall, from a very high place.

And it hurts.

Ya Allah...

Rasulullah saw bersabda yang bermaksud;

"Sesiapa yang sentiasa beristighfar maka Allah akan menjadikan baginya setiap kesusahan itu ada jalan keluar dan pada setiap kesempitan ada cara mengatasinya serta memberikan rezeki kepadanya daripada sumber yang tidak disangka-sangka." - Riwayat Abu Daud.

Where's The Trashcan?

My mom has a habit of keeping things (read: hamper wrapper, bottles, kfc container and etc). Her rational is "who knows we might need that later".

Problem is, those things are taking up spaces in the cupboard. It has been ages and up till now, those things are still there, get all dust covered up and have no use. So I decided to throw those away.

Anddd up till now, she didn't even realize that those things had gone.

Sometimes we're being too attach to things that we afraid to throw it away.

Have the gut to throw. So only then you'll realize you actually got a lot of space.. in the cupboard. :)

P/s: Let the beginning of 2015 be decorated with compassion and love. Rubbish? The trashcan is over there, sir.


Bui-bui.