D i f f i c u l i t y.

"When we face difficulties, have in heart that my Lord is with me and He will help me to go through this. 

When you know firmly that Allah will never leave you, He will make the way out for you. 

When you let go for the sake of Allah, Allah will give it back to you. With something better. That's a promise."


By Yasmin Mogahed, Reclaim Your Heart.

I want a copy of my own. Shouldn't be cheapskate for a great book like this.

Bui-bui.

p/s: "When you let go for the sake of Allah, Allah will give it back to you. With something better. That's a promise." Have faith. *self pats on the back*

It affects you?

I asked again. How does this affect you, trainee teachers? Your answer would define you. 

This post is supposed to be published on April 4.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Semester 3 has ended well. Now, yours trully is already at home, laid back, doing nothing. Eh

So ada la masa nak cerita apa yang jadik on 4th April back then. The day that yours trully turned 21.

*************

Kudos to my classmates. They planned it well.

815am.115pm, 4 April 2013.
Pada kebiasaannya, kalau ada sesiapa yang birthday dia haritu, weols (the whole classmates) akan greet her dengan birthday wishes. But not on my birthday, they did nothing. Deep in my heart, I kind of grateful. As I don't really like the idea of people singing 'happy birthday to you' and you're standing there, blurred and confused on what facial expression would be nice to make. Hurrr. So, I don't mind they didn't sing. Really.

230pm-430pm, 4 April 2013.
At the end of Anatomy lecture, they finally did that 'happy birthday to you' to me. I feel so embarrassed. Lecture kot. Combine dengan kelas lain kot. Mesti la malu kot. Agagagagaga

Rasa nak masuk semak!

So I thought that was it. Takdak apa dah la kot. Since it's during the assignment week. Two final assignments kena hantar the next day. So I understand. Being us, selalu buat kerja last minute. So takdak la nak celebrate padia sangat.

But I was wrong.

900pm-1100pm, 4 April 2013.
Later that night, I had a group discussion with my groupmate at the library. And here's the climax of the story. My best friend, Fatin dengan membawa cake, together with my classmates behind her, loudly singing HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUU.

And my groupmate ni pon sama join depa nyanyi nyanyi.

Geez again. Kat library (luar library) kot. Ada banyak orang dok buat discussion sama. Kami dok buat macam kampus itu makayah kami yang punya. Hohoho. Dahla bising. They then siram yours trully with water sumore. Memang terbaik. Then after dah basah lencun tu, potong cake plak. Blueberry cheesecake if I'm not mistaken. Pastuh being the matured us, main plak dengan cream cake tu. Memang matang abadi sangat.

So, everything was so well planned. Yours trully ni tak expect depa nak hold any party ka apa sebab esok tu kena hantar assignments. Note the 's'. So thankyou, terharu yours trully ni. Ada gak rupanya insan yang sayang kat yours trully ni. Ekekeke

Dah habes semua, weols pon balik. Nasib baik gak benda yang di discuss tu dah siap. Pandai depa timing before serbu. So dengan baju yang basah tu pun yours trully balik la. Mesti leww nak balik cepat, malu macam orang balik swimming dah. Padahal pegi library.

Wait.

Belom habis lagi. Dah sampai bilik, bukak ja pintu, I saw flours filled up the floor of my room. Oh mannnn. Apa sweet sangat semorang ni. They put "Happy Birthday Mai :) ). Lepas tu atas katil ada hadiah lagi. Okay *nanges* My partner(as most of the time kalau buat assignment partner yours trully ni dengan dia), Nadia, we shared the same room key. So they invaded my room when I was gone to Bais. Hyeah, fantastic baybeh nya korangg!

I don't know what have I done that Allah sent me these people. Petang tu my parents from KL datang hantaq tiramisu. Then malam tu my classmates did all this. I shouldnt ask anything else. My life is bliss. I love you all to the moon and back.

And I'll still love you to the moon and back even if you did none of all these things. Because our fleeting moment together, and the 'I'll always be there when you need me' are more than all this.

Sadly, theres no pic. Kleynton had already recorded everything. Too bad they are all gone because of some technical problem. Aish.

Bui-bui.

Yours trully at the age of 21. May her ended up being a good person.

p/s: This life is indeed, full of unexpected event.

A heart to fix.

It's that moment again. I'm slumped.

Meanwhile, I leave you with this beautiful zikr, while I'm busy fixing my heart.

"Those who believe, and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest".
[Ar-Ra'd: 28]

Sleepless night. #GE13

Quoted from Tuan Guru Haji Hadi, "Kalau kita kalah, kita kena bertenang itu tanda orang beriman yang redha dengan segala ketentuan. Memang ada perjuangan kalah ada menang. Jika berlaku penipuan ingatlah kita ada akhirat sebagai medan kebenaran. Jangan lupa ada kerajaan yang lebih berkuasa yakni kerajaan Allah SWT. Kita tidak kalah, cuma belum menang." 

I woke up this morning receiving unpleasant news. Hati mana tak sedih. Setelah solat hajat serta doa yang telah dipanjatkan, apa yang dihajatkan tidak diperolehi.

Allah.. Allah...

Sesungguhnya, saya, anda dan masyarakat semua tak tau perkara yang sebenar berlaku. Peti undi hilang, blackout, recount and poof, menang. Husnuzzon Mai. *pats on the back*.

Kena yakin ada hikmah di sebalik ketentuan ni. Kalau betul berlakunya ketidaktelusan pada PRU13 ini, maka celakalah orang yang mengkhianati amanah itu.

Damaikan hatimu dengan mengingati Allah. 

Kadangkala kita nak rama-rama,
Allah bagi ulat bulu satu,
Allah bagi kita terima,
Mungkin nak suruh faham sesuatu.

Eh takdelah. Mana ada black out. Korang jangan percaya sangat dengan internet ni.

p/s: Ada yang melihat di atas sana. Jaga setiap tutur kata dan perbuatan kita. Ingatan untuk diri ini yang sering lupa. 

Hasbunallahu wani mal wakil. :'(

There is not a single word in the whole world,

That could describe the hurt,

The dullest knife just sawing  back and forth,

And ripping through the softest skin there ever was.

Bui-bui.